Shower Hour - Priceless

Today has been an exciting, daring, scary day since I hit gravity in July and broke my leg.

No one was home - my son went to visit a friend and my friends assisting me while "out of action",
went shopping.  I was bored and feeling really iffy with myself. So, I got a bee in my bonnet and with
the walker I hobbled to the bathroom determined to get into the bath and have a shower.
Ok, now you thinking, irresponsible, silly, wacky.......  I am not arguing or defending myself, I agree..what if I slip and fall etc.

So, I put the walker in the bath side ways, yep it fits...Cool bananas, I say.
Place a few towels on the floor for the water spill you know!
Strip, "right lady, lets get going, no turning back now",

Now close your eyes and imagine the scenario.....
sit on the side of the bath, swing left leg (thats the broken one) over the bath, hold onto
other side of bath with left hand, right hand hold onto walker (outside the bath)
swing right leg over...ooops oops bit slippery there, ok ,,,my legs are in,
push on both sides of the bath, and stand up (walker still outside the bath)
YES!  I explain to the air, Im in!

Turn water on, glorious, oh glorglorious! you have NO idea how amazing that felt,
gave myself a good scrub down and enjoyed that warm water flowing over me.  Oh thank you Lord, I murmur.

Water turned off, now how to get out?  and there my mind froze for a few moments.
Ok so if i got in from the left, I will need to get out from the right, i think.
Back to sitting on the edge of a wet bath edge,  swing good leg over, hold onto walker
and swing broken leg over.  The floor is wet, but thank heavens for the towels.
Laughing like a crazy woman, I was thrilled for taking the challenge.

For weeks I have been washing down from the hand basin.  I feel like someone with Happy Cow Syndrome.

When we are faced with challenges in our lives, sometimes it's necessary, to practice some patience, (seems like patience is a constant learning curve in my life), and when the time or situation is right, things will work out as it should.

greetings from a rather cold, wet and windy Cape Town...heres raising my cuppa coffee to you!

Not letting go - holding onto what was

I unashamedly admit, I am a great fan of Gordon Ramsay!  There ...I said it.
I watch each of his programs, oh I think he uses the F word way to much, but hey, F stands for Food.

I just finished watching one of the programs where Chef Ramsay assists struggling restaurant owners to refocus, think out of the box or close down.  This particular series was of a struggling Italian trying to keep the 55year old business going ...as his parents would have done.  He never had training, he worked in the restaurant after school, from the age of 8 and as he said, not to come home for lunch but to work. After the parents passed away, he just continued where they left off.   When his staff tried to address failures or suggest changes, he would respond by saying, "its my business, mind your business and get back to your job."   It was so sad to see him break down and admit to Chef Ramsay that he failed because of where he was emotionally, still thinking what mamma and pappa expected.  How he desperately was sending out that life line for survival, eager to survive.

As I am reflecting and sharing this with you, I realise how many of us find ourselves in a situation of denial.
Whatever it is, ... stuck in an unhappy situation at work, or relationship, the way we do things because thats all you know  or the way we think, because its been "impressioned" into our minds, the way we view life or people or situations.

Are we so afraid then of change?.  Is it too much to rise to the challenge? or are we afraid that change may change us?

I think, IF we are able to throw out that life line and say hey..im not loosing out because of the past, because of where I find myself today, because of what people say or think, IF we look past the here and now and look toward the horizon, we will surely realise we must live life to its fullest, responsibly, but with the permission we owe and allow to ourselves.

I leave this thought with you...as I raise my cuppa coffee to you...

Blessings  

My Gosh, am I Gobsmacked!

I received an account in the post a few days ago from my Neurologist, and shortly after, an sms from the medical aid to say the doctor claimed.  I was rather confused about this as the doctor is contracted out of medical aid and I have to pay R750.00 for every visit.  So, I contacted medical aid, nope they declined the payment which is R80.50c  ok, now the doctors rooms, the receptionist explains the amount is for services rendered.

•   "Yes, but what services?" I ask, "considering I paid cash for my consultation!"  "Oh", she replies, Dr charges for every script her writes, for every form he fills in, for every out of consultation phone call you make to him."  
• "What?", I say in a rather exasperated tone?  "Is he now becoming like a lawyer, charge for every breath I take"?  "My dear", she says to me, "please remember Dr is not a local GP, he is after all a Specialist, his time is very valuable!"

I am totally Gobsmacked, geez, since when?  Well,  apparently recently as he never did it before!!!

My Gosh, am I Gobsmacked.

So, that will mean, I see him for consultation of R750.00 (15min) he writes out my 6 monthly repeat prescription for my Essential Tremors R80.50 = R830.50   Who in their right mind walks about with  R830.50  C A S H, in todays life on the tight budget forced on us due to the 560% fuel increase over the past 15years, the rising cost of food, 3 peaches for R25, potatoes a pocket R50 !!

Crazy man...just totally insane!

So, after all this ranting, my thoughts turn to the average worker, the poor, the elderly, people with disabilities. How on earth do they cope let alone survive?  

This song came to mind, a song my mom and dad often sang....and if Gods eye watches over the sparrow, He sure will watch over us....and with these words below, I greet you...

Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely
And long for Heav'n and home?
When Jesus is my portion,
My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He cares for me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Refrain:
I sing because I'm happy, (I’m happy)
I sing because I'm free, (I’m free)
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Verse 2:
"Let not your heart be troubled,"
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fear;
Though by the path He leads me
But one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Verse 3:
Whenever I am tempted,
Whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing,
When hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him,
From care He sets me free:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He cares for me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me

How do you choose to spend your day?

I recently read a rather touching and inspiring blog recently, where a father shared a thought regarding his son who is mentally challenged.  The father goes on to say:

"........yet in so many ways he is far wiser than I am. He has an intuitive knowledge of what is important in life. When we go out he looks people in the eye, calls them by name, and shares his smile far more easily than I do. He goes through life with a soul full of love, joy, and kindness that he gives to everyone he meets. He makes others feel better. He makes each day shine brighter. He makes this world more beautiful just by being in it. He may not understand everything in life, but he knows how to live happily and lovingly. He shows me everyday that life is simple. It is we who make it complicated.

You see, life is just the choices we make each day.

We can choose to love or we can choose to be afraid.

We can choose to help or we can choose to turn away.

We can choose to forgive or we can choose to hate.

We can choose to be kind or we can choose to be cruel.

We can choose to trust or we can choose to be suspicious.

We can choose to give or we can choose to take.

We can choose to serve or we can choose to be selfish.

We can choose to laugh or we can choose to sulk.

We can choose to cry or we can choose to hide our hearts.

We can choose to smile or we can choose to stress.

We can choose to be at peace or we can choose to be at war within ourselves.

We can choose to live or we can choose to just exist.

We can choose to believe God loves us or we can choose to live in doubt.

We can choose to shine our souls or we can choose to dwell in darkness.

We can choose to make this world more like Heaven or we can choose to make this world more like Hell.

It was very touching and inspiring to read this, and I hope by sharing it with you, you too would think how you wish to spend your day.

Blessings...here's sharing my cuppa with you

Laugh WITH me not AT me

Friday Humor

I decided on quite an interesting blog for today, lay awake during the night planning it, thinking of all the quirky things to say, and lo and behold,....yes the train of thought left the station .

*****************************

"So lets talk about me baby"..You see, not only did I meet gravity, I have been diagnosed with a progressive disease called Essential Tremors.  That means, my hands shake, my legs quiver, and sometimes I feel my head quiver, and I wonder is it nodding YES or shaking NO.  Ok thats just my sense of humor.  

At the age of 15 I fell on my back at school during PT class was knocked out for a few minutes, but that never phased "godzilla" the teacher.  One Sunday we had some youth over for lunch and I kept dropping my knife and fork, my cooldrink glass would wobble as I brought it too my mouth.  We just thought it nervousness because a guy I fancied was sitting next to me. 

Later, working for a large Mining Company in Johannesburg, secretaries were rotated to serve to all the very high profiled mining magnates, my turn came, I was extra super nervous, cups were these fancy bone china noritake stuff.  So, carrying a tray of 12 cups and saucers with saucers made a jovial ting-a-ling chiming sound, suddenly silence....and I mean S I L E N C E, everyone looked up (say about 48+ mining male big shots) and there I froze, and all you heard was ting,ting ting ting ting ting ting ting.  An elderly gentleman stood up, took the tray from me..."there there my dear, you relieved from tea duty"..well, if I could evaporate there and then I would of.

Years later, when my dad was diagnosed with Parkinsons, I thought, maybe thats what it is, cause the doctors could never pin point the tremors and make a diagnosis, medications and xrays, ct scans and mri i have been through it.

2007 I was attacked with chronic tiredness, tests, medication, tests, and more tests.  A lot of speculative diagnosis.  Finally, July 2012, I was so zombie like, just living because I had to, I thought at one stage I would never see the end of 2012.  The August I was referred to a Neurologist who assessed me and yes..more tests, placed me on medication.  I went from zero km p hr to 120 km p hr in like 4 months, ready to take on Julius Malema if I had too. 

It was a good 2013 until I hit gravity and broke my leg.  My shakes have deteriorated to such an extent I cannot write or sign my signature, its ziggity zaggity squiggles, my concentration span lasts from here to there and then I have to ask you to please repeat yourself, I am not forgetful, I just cannot focus, particularly when it is important things that need my attention. When i'm anxious or stress its aggravated even more, I have had to (shamefacedly) ask my ex and his wife to help me with managing my finances, and some independance is being challenged as I find it difficult to drive when my legs go all wobbledy gook on me.  Oh, try to drive and when you stop at a robot and you wonder how you got there, the journey in between is non existent.  Scary stuff...even I think so now that im actually sharing my thoughts with you.

Well, work has now become an impossibility for me, so I now need to hear if they will put me on disability retirement.  Lets hope and pray it all goes thru soon!

We have a joke here at home, a new energy saving mechanism to make milkshake, beat up cream, froth milk for coffee, just give it to me I will shake it up for you.

Is humor necessary when you have an illness or a disability?  What do you think?

as usual, its time to sign off,   raising my cuppa coffee to you

On a Journey from Frustration to Patience

Today has been one of those days ..........

Since breaking my leg and being wheelchair bound, I have been on a journey.  At first, I wondered what the reason was for this unexpected event in my life, and decided "well lady, you home bound, wheelchair reliant, lets see how we fare!"

The journey so far, has taken me

• thru valleys of self doubt and self pity, 
• short tunnels of depression - (short cause I make sure I quickly switch the headlights onto bright, I aint getting stuck in no darkness, no m'am, its way to scary.),
• along the highway with peace, serenity and clarity,
• then the pot holes of frustration, irritation and annoyance.
• Presently the GPS is set on frustration and leading me to the off ramp towards patience., 

Reflecting on the road map of my emotions, I am realising I need to take note of the beeps of the GPS, you know, when it warns you of pending roadblocks, speeding  cameras?  So, how do I avoid these pitfalls?      I decided I needed to do some self introspection and identify...

1. Why I feel frustrated?
2. What can I do about it?
3. How can I over come it?

mmmm, ignoring this, could lead to 1 of 2 things.  I just explode at everyone around me, make myself miserable and later....apologise, or talk about what is bugging me.  If I had to ask you which of the the two choices you would have chose, i'm so sure you would immediately say the second choice.  Yes it is the right course to take, however your fellow travellers have emotions too!

Luckily, as things turn out, there is a Pitstop at the turnoff to Patience, so I decide its time for a cuppa coffee and a piece of yummie mousse chocolate cake.  Over a cuppa I explain my frustration, and ask my travelling companions their input as to what we can do together to over come my building and pent up frustration and ask there assistance or partnering in trying to assist me to over come what's frustrating me.

Believe me, the journey has not ended, I am sure somewhere along the journey the GPS will bellow out that I need to change direction, go around the round about, or re diverting or re calculating or for that matter re charge or update my GPS, but thats fine, because you see I am on a journey of understanding, discovery and well what ever good comes out of this.

We look at life and wonder, what is our purpose to and in life?  I cannot be encouraging, supportive, motivating, engaging and showing compassion genuinely if I haven't travelled a similar journey to someone God sends along my way, so that I could guide them in the right direction.

I sincerely hope that you too are encouraged by my experience today and next time you use your GPS, smile, you just never know where your GPS is taking you.  May it be an oasis of peace love and joy.

Raising my cuppa coffee to you.....

Rolling in my Buigeetti (you spell it like that?)

Have you ever found yourself in a situation which is not usual for you?
 In July 2013, I was trying to be a good aunty for my darling 27 year old niece, she got into a kinda hot pickle by double booking herself with "house sitting", so we kinda juggled things around, "I" spending a few days at house 1 and "she" at house 2, then we would swop...cool, no problem, until ....yours trully goes to house 2.
Now let me back track for your amusement, house 1 had lots of stairs, and rather steep angled stairs, 5 sets to be exactly, I would use 3 sets of these stairs nightly...down  9 stairs from the bedroom then 11 stairs up to the the level where the toilet/shower was, return to bedroom via same route,  2 to 4 times a night (it happens as you get older, pinching is no option) and no incident happened in the house of many stairs.
House 2, no stairs in the house only 2 on the side of the drive way. A beautiful house.  A beautiful amazing bed with a typical old fashioned feather mattress, heavenly I tell you.  Well on my second morning to work, my foot decided to just skid under me and WHAM  i went down.  Yep, I seriously broke my left leg.

Now, this brings me to rolling about in my Buigeetti (you spell it like that?) , my 4 wheeler, on hire and no not from avis, budget or rent a truck. (and wearing my moonwalker -the support i need to wear day and night, that weighs about 8kgs)

If you are used to getting about using your two feet, think twice next time you see someone rolling in their ferrari, buigeetti or rolls royce.

Oh let me tell you, my 23year old son loves "pushing me around", spinning me in the wheelchair, running down the parking lot at the mall and let me "free willy" till the chair comes to a stop.  Yeah, there is humor in it, but let me tell you I have a new respect for wheelchair bound people, even if its only temporary.  Its the most uncomfortable mode of movement, by the time you get to bed at night your bottom aches, your back aches, your good leg is spasming, your wrists are painful.  How wheelchair bound people do it, I just dont know, and they always smile!

I now think of my dad who had parkinsons disease, a very active man before that, he walked every where.  How did he feel when he was eventually wheelchair bound?  We as a family never really gave it a thought.  How dependant he was on others to get him to the loo on time,  how humiliated he must have felt when he never got their on time.

As I reflect, and yes with some humor, while I find myself dependant on my Buigeetti, I now understand and respect how others feel who daily find themselves bound to and ever so reliant on their wheelchair.

Tonight again, I raise my cuppa coffee to all ......
Never forget to be so greatful that you have two feet to find your way, dont take life for granted.
If you find yourself in a wheelchair, raise your head up high, you are a champion.

Blessings to you.