So, you feel inadequate...not good enough hey?

Do you think you’re not as good as someone else? What’s new? 

We all feel this way at sometime. Don’t settle for the same old familiar tune of friends and family. Friends and family say they mean well and often what they say is honest. But does it really satisfy your emotional need?

When we are feeling inadequate what is really going on? It is not just a question of the glass half empty or half full. Either we haven’t lived up to our own expectations or we fear we won’t live up to our own expectations or maybe the expectations of others. Where do our expectations come from?

My expectations come from my self-image. I would like to excel in everything, well, mostly everything.  When I put my mind to it I have excelled at many things. Yet, have I excelled at being MYSELF?  Does that realization make me feel adequate? Not really.  When placed on disability from work how will I deal with the reality of the situation? How will this affect my family emotionally and how will they react toward me now that their tower of strength needs a tower of strength?

What then makes me feel adequate? Sometimes it is simple things like straightening the house and making the bed. Today it’s been the ability to take a shower without fear of falling, without people hovering outside just in case, today its getting this blog written tremors and all.

I have thought for days how I can take this blog to the next level. Now that I am writing, it is taking a form different than what I thought it would. This is not the first time a blog has written itself and come out differently.  Sometimes I’m concerned that what I would say would sound corny. Now I see those fears were a means for my unconscious thoughts to come up with a new answer. The answer for me to feel adequate seems that I must just go ahead and just do it. That means of course figuring out what you are afraid of, and finding a way to approach it.

When we feel inadequate we are also feeling overwhelmed. Yet, a huge task like putting a man on the moon wasn't done in a day. It took thousands of people working over a decade to make it a reality. The overall tasks seemed impossible. Yet when they broke it down into do-able parts it was accomplished.

So, when we feel inadequate how should we approach it? Well, we need to define the task, break it down into do-able parts, and get started.

This may seem right when we’re overwhelmed by a future task. I would define the task, to find my expectations, review the outcomes, look for lessons learned (from past experience), and celebrate my successes. We can always claim we tried. We can always identify factors outside and within our control that prevented us from reaching our expectations. Then we can design new strategies to prevent those things from happening again. This process is easier if you have somebody help you work it through, but let me tell you its even more rewarding just doing it, seeing the outcome and feeling great!

That is one of the tasks of a coach and that means you need not do it on your own, you have support.

What in your life is making you feel inadequate? How have you coped with your feelings of inadequacy in the past. How have you overcome them?  What wisdom can you add?

You feel you need a coach…im just an email away.

So, here's raising my cuppa to you as I sign off..

Blessings to you