Oh heavens! Are we so needy...

Being Needy is a basic need...however all or many people believe that they are lovable and knowing that they are loved. When people have low self-esteem, however, they are anxiously unsure of themselves and likely even question if they are lovable. One of the main ways people try to find an answer to this question is to look to others, hyper anxiously watching the others’ behaviours, listening to their words and tone of voice, mentally recording the ways that person acts toward them, even keeping score of what they think works and doesn’t work. Of course, all too often their conclusion is not accurate.

Desperately seeking reassurance that they are lovable, those with low self-esteem look outside themselves and at the behaviour of those closest to them, to find answers to the question of being lovable. Then, if the person who professes to love them, does not act in ways that they think would indicate this love, the person being needy: 1) try harder to please in order to win the love and attention of the significant other 2) become angry when they feel the significant other is withholding giving them what they need, or 3) feel they must be deserving of this treatment and conclude that they are indeed, unlovable. Finding this explanation unbearable, however, they continue to vacillate between depression and anger toward the person from whom they want affirmation.

Unfortunately, much of the disappointment the “needy” persons have toward the significant other is the result of their own insecurity, their neediness that demands constant reinforcement, their unreasonable expectations, their irrational expectations, poor communication, holding in feelings, and all in all, chaos.

People need to satisfy their emotional needs. These are intellectual – thinking about what they are doing or want,existential – existing satisfactorily, and relational – relating to others around them, communicating or sharing your emotional needs with a trusted person/friend/life coach.

So how do you do this?  How do you move from emotional needy to being emotionally free?

• Write down your 10 needs in life. (just one word)
• Place them in priority order...YOUR priority.
• Write down next to each one 
• HOW you want these needs met
• WHAT you can do by having your needs met
• WHY you can benefit from changing your neediness to being more positive
• Finally...working thru this in your journal, take a bold 1st step and show you can change.

Joy, happiness and satisfaction comes when you set yourself free

So ...learning with you step by step, I raise my cuppa to you

Life is a journey..lets grab hold of these challenges and celebrate

a life of emotional freedom,

Blessings