While there is no magic cure to relieve some of the realities of what we face with our various disabilities, taking time for ourself helps. A good place to start is for couples to talk with each other about their self care needs and then co-create nourishing and re-energizing opportunities for them as individuals and as a couple, or to chat to a friend or family member. Its not a pity party by no means, and its also important for the person listening to know that.
For both, self care, whether spiritually, physically or emotionally can seem elusive or inconceivable and for some, even unacceptable, however, its very important to focus on our well being....this is what drives one, it sure drives me even when I feel I am in an emotional doldrum or if its a bad day health wise.
It is so important that we are reminded that in any type of relationship, i.e. with yourself, your partner, friend, family member(s), we find the "us" in maintaining any form of relationship.
- Let go of the notion you have to do it all by yourself.
- Identify what is extraneous and depletes your energy.
- Practice saying "no" on occasion.
- Practice saying "i need your help".
- Learn to share responsibilities with your spouse/family/friend, if you can, know matter how small.
- Overcome being intimidated by others who seem to do this effortlessly.
- Find a Life Coach who work respectfully with you.
- Broaden your skills to better handle stressful behaviors or circumstances.
- Find environments that fit your needs (e.g. don't go to supermarkets when its busy, avoid peak hour traffic if it creates tension).
- Network with people who have similar situation/disabilities you are in or are just starting to face, to learn what lies ahead and discover their coping strategies and techniques.
Meeting your own needs can come in a variety of forms, depending on what would be fulfilling at a given time. Perhaps your internal batteries can be recharged with quiet reflection and other times rejuvenated by having contact with people whom you feel close and understood. I know, that just enjoying the view of the sea or being in a scenic nature environment helps me to focus on my well being
Ideas to consider for revitalization are:
Develop a relationship with someone you can trust;
Block out non-negotiable time for you and your spouse on your calendar.
Go out on dates with your spouse, friend, family — something interesting, novel and fun.
Find a form of exercise you like to do; designate time, even if for short periods — it will be invigorating.
Meditate, learn relaxation techniques.
Listen to uplifting music.
Get involved in something you thought you would never do and things you like to do. It builds up your reserves.
Start or join a book club, support or discussion group.
Attend the theatre, lectures, movies, music and/or sporting events.
Get good rest, including power naps.
Keep a private journal to pour out your dark thoughts and negative feelings.
Create a space for a safe haven in your home; make it your special retreat.
Its important to realise that challenging your attitude about self care and not abandoning your needs, will allow you to gain new perspectives about renewal and energy.
Often, by making yourself do some of these things, you'll discover you cope more effectively, minimizing the risk of burnout (physically or emotionally). You deserve to claim time and space for yourself. In being creative, your possibilities are endless.
I want to end off by saying, all the above is good and very important, but the most important aspect when focusing on your well being, is LAUGHTER, a jolly good dosage of this and to be added as part of your Chronic Medication.
“Laughter is wine for the soul - laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness - the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.”
― Seán O'Casey
Time for my cuppa ...greetings to you
