Learn to become grounded

A few days after writing my last blog, I received a monthly news letter from a Dr Dave Moseman, who lives in Minneapolis, he was diagnosed with a type of eye disease and can no longer practice, ...I enjoy his newsletters.  Anyway, after reading the latest one, 4 words really stood out for me, practically knocking me off my chair.   LEARN TO BECOME GROUNDED.

I want to share some excerpts with you...and highlighted words that really shout out to my inner being...

When we find ourselves stopped by a disability we become lost in the Wilderness. Yet we need to calm down and become aware of our surroundings.  Our surroundings nurturer us constantly, but in our busy lives it gets overshadowed.

While we are mourning for what we have lost, our dreams, our self-image, our identity, we need to be loved. Our impulse is to crawl into our shells and hide. Pulling back and taking a pause in our busy life plans is necessary, we also need to get in touch with what is our true essence.

There is a voice with us always. In our busy lives we rush to and fro and only listen to that voice that says do this and that. When we can no longer do this and that, we have the opportunity to listen to the quieter voices in our lives, the ones that come from our core.  Become silent and listen to Gods Spirit, His Voice speaking to our soul.

As we listen for the quiet core messages we find other things too. We discover that we are not alone. We feel things, too.
We find the caresses that abound. Those soothing caresses come in the gentle sound of rain, or wind in the trees. They come from the concerns of friends and family. Suddenly we find we are loved not for what we can do, but for ourselves.
If we relax and open up, we can feel the sun. If we but open our eyes we can see what is around us. The splendor of a cold winter’s day, the shimmering green or summer leaves. Life goes on in its rhythm of contraction and renewal.
With the onset of disability, we have entered a time of contraction. Like the World in winter we must hibernate and prepare for the renewal to follow.  In the winter snow we see tracks of animals scurrying about. Few are around to be seen.
Most animals birth their young in the spring. So too, we will be reborn when our spring comes.

When I entered my Winter of Disability, I got in touch with Spiritual things I had put aside for my career. I read and studied the book of Job. I read Herbert Kurshner’s book “On why Bad things happen to Good People”.
For me the message of Job was to let go and let God hear my pains, to let God respond to my pains. In those moments of surrender I felt caressed and not alone, I found opportunity and freedom.
When you find yourself stopped by disability, use it as an opportunity to return to your core, Pray, Journal, meditate. Become grounded in what you have walked away from in your formerly busy life.  Find who you have really been, consult family and friends, about who they think you are.  Start a new Chapter in your life

I ask you to reflect on these questions.

• When have you needed to pause and reflect?
• How have you been able to get back in touch with yourself?
• Share your brokenness with those you love and trust.

May you too be touched by these thoughts of Dr Moseman, if you know of someone needing encouragement in the disability they are facing...please share this.

Be blessed

Focusing on your well being

So,...... I thought I would share some ideas that make caring for yourself a manageable reality.

While there is no magic cure to relieve some of the realities of what we face with our various disabilities, taking time for ourself helps. A good place to start is for couples to talk with each other about their self care needs and then co-create nourishing and re-energizing opportunities for them as individuals and as a couple, or to chat to a friend or family member.   Its not a pity party by no means, and its also important for the person listening to know that.
For both, self care, whether spiritually, physically or emotionally can seem elusive or inconceivable and for some, even unacceptable, however, its very important to focus on our well being....this is what drives one, it sure drives me even when I feel I am in an emotional doldrum or if its a bad day health wise.

It is so important that we are reminded that in any type of relationship, i.e. with yourself, your partner, friend, family member(s), we find the "us" in maintaining any form of relationship.

• Let go of the notion you have to do it all by yourself.
• Identify what is extraneous and depletes your energy.
• Practice saying "no" on occasion.
• Practice saying "i need your help".
• Learn to share responsibilities with your spouse/family/friend, if you can, know matter how small.
• Overcome being intimidated by others who seem to do this effortlessly.
• Find a Life Coach who work respectfully with you.
• Broaden your skills to better handle stressful behaviors or circumstances.
• Find environments that fit your needs (e.g. don't go to supermarkets when its busy, avoid peak hour traffic if it creates tension).
• Network with people who have similar situation/disabilities you are in or are just starting to face, to learn what lies ahead and discover their coping strategies and techniques.

Meeting your own needs can come in a variety of forms, depending on what would be fulfilling at a given time. Perhaps your internal batteries can be recharged with quiet reflection and other times rejuvenated by having contact with people whom you feel close and understood.  I know, that just enjoying the view of the sea or being in a scenic nature environment helps me to focus on my well being 

Ideas to consider for revitalization are:
Develop a relationship with someone you can trust; 
Block out non-negotiable time for you and your spouse on your calendar.
Go out on dates with your spouse, friend, family — something interesting, novel and fun.
Find a form of exercise you like to do; designate time, even if for short periods — it will be invigorating.
Meditate, learn relaxation techniques.
Listen to uplifting music.
Get involved in something you thought you would never do and things you like to do. It builds up your reserves.
Start or join a book club, support or discussion group.
Attend the theatre, lectures, movies, music and/or sporting events.
Get good rest, including power naps.
Keep a private journal to pour out your dark thoughts and negative feelings.
Create a space for a safe haven in your home; make it your special retreat.

Its important to realise that challenging your attitude about self care and not abandoning your needs, will allow you to gain new perspectives about renewal and energy. 
Often, by making yourself do some of these things, you'll discover you cope more effectively, minimizing the risk of burnout (physically or emotionally). You deserve to claim time and space for yourself. In being creative, your possibilities are endless.

I want to end off by saying, all the above is good and very important, but the most important aspect when focusing on your well being, is LAUGHTER, a jolly good dosage of this and to be added as part of your Chronic Medication.

“Laughter is wine for the soul - laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness - the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.”
― Seán O'Casey

Time for my cuppa ...greetings to you

2014...the start

2014......the start

because I am doing something new! Now you will grow like a new plant. Surely you know this is true. I will even make a road in the desert, and rivers will flow through that dry land. (Isaiah 43:19 ERV)
THIS IS THE YEAR YOU WILL GROW LIKE A NEW PLANT!

I had purposefully held back from blogging further, till the beginning of 2014.  Some reasons are due to changes that took place in my life, trying to adjust and adapt to not having "helpers" living with me, trying hard to cope with doing things on my own (and failing emotionally), having to face the change of being employed and on the go (yet going know where emotionally and mentally) to now being on disability pension, so can we just say i'm retired?

On the other hand, its been a spiritual journey, I have learnt to sit back, trust and believe.  My life is in the hands of an Almighty God and He has shown His ways to me in many exciting ways recently, I have experienced Victory spiritually and emotionally,I have experienced peace, peace of mind, peace of soul, I have experienced confirmation to Gods promises for my life,  I have seen God's miraculous Hand in many things in my life these past 4 months, and I can truthfully say...like that song so many years ago, I dont even know who sang it, ...

Put your hand in the hand

Of the man who stilled the water

Put your hand in the hand

Of the man who calmed the sea

Take a look at yourself and

A you can look at others differently

By puttin' your hand in the hand

Of the man from-a Galilee

God has promised, that 2014 is the start to a brand new life for me, he is the Captain of my Cruiseliner, I just have to trust in Him.  

Although I have essential tremors, and am now no longer a working girl, I believe that God has a plan with my life, and as a Life Coach, I am going to seriously apply my mind to assist people, young and oldish, to face there health challenges.   No matter what comes our way, there is always a brighter tomorrow, we just need to allow it, open up to it....and let God do the rest.


Blessings .....

http://vivhamman.wix.com/vivienne-hamman

Tuesday, December 3, 2013, the IETF ( International Essential Tremor Foundation ) will be part of a call to action that will change the calendar and help make history! We are celebrating a day dedicated to giving -- when charities, families, businesses, retailers and more will all come together for ‪#‎GivingTuesday‬ - a movement to celebrate giving and encourage more, better and smarter giving during the Holiday Season. 

Consider giving something back today and this festive season. Together we will show how the world can do much more with our wallets than just consume. We invite you to be part of this global or national giving celebration particularly to a health foundation such asThe International Essential Tremor Foundation or associations such as  The Parkinsons Association, Disability Associations, Breast Cancer, Cerebral Palsy etc thats dear to your heart.

Thank you and be blessed

Shaking.....and shaking some more, those horrid hand tremors!

Have you ever seen someone with tremors (shakes) in their hands, head, tongue or legs for that matter?
I am sure you have even thought..."Shame, how embarrassing!"  or  "Shame, I hope that never happens to me!"

a spiral drawn by a person with hand tremors like me

Well, yes to the person with the tremors, yes its embarrassing at times even humiliating and it even affects their self confidence which eventually causes depression and even a withdrawal to their social lives.

For the past 36 years I have been plagued with tremors in the hands, often jokingly responding to people by stating I have withdrawals from not having my tot for the day, but still it has made me very self concious.  As time has progressed, so has the tremors.  Going from doctor to doctor to find out cause and treatment has been to know avail, a million diagnosis has been made, lots of money spent on tests, scans, mri's etc.

My experiences are:
When I lay down, I shake, my bed shakes;
I cant hold a cup of coffee it shakes all over;
I eat with a spoon or the food shakes all over the place;
I drink with a straw in my cup of coffee if I go for coffee somewhere;
I order toasts or wraps so that I can use my hands, utensils are out;
I can no longer do my arts and crafts, i shake too much;
When I read I need to place to book or kindle on a hard surface and still my body quivers;
I cannot pour water from a kettle, or pot;
I try to do tapestry, but I shiver so much before the needle enters the area;
My water consumption is from a bottle not a glass;
I cannot fasten my tops with buttons, I now wear pull on pull off items.
I struggle to fasten my bra;  (no im not going without my wonderbra)
I cannot write or sign my signature, my son has power of attorney;
My hair is now cut short, I cannot blow dry my hair.
I monitor my tremors with a lift pulse downloaded from essentialtremor.org/
and the list can go on and on.........

Over the past 6 years I have really declined in health, diagnosed with fibromyalgia, heart flutters, atrial fibrillation, nerve pinching, you name it its being diagnosed, even thyroid. 
I even did self diagnosis and research on MS, CFS etc out of desperation.  Things got so bad in 2012 that I thought I would never see December 2012 and got my will and papers finalised.

Finally in July 2012 I was referred to a Neurologist. He immediately ruled out Parkinsons and Wilson's Disease and told me what I have is Severe Essential Tremors,(www.essentialtremor.org read more about it here)  

Again, lots of tests were done, medical costs spiralling and medical aid exhausted, medication called Lyrica 125mg tried out (not covered by med aid), which had a strange effect, I felt I was on a high (like helium in a balloon is how my head felt) like someone with ADHD but the negative was that I never thought rationally, I was forgetful  short term memory problems and would make silly decisions, driving was a problem as I would blank out mentally while driving and when reaching my destination couldnt remember what happened between point a to point b.  Then, on a day in July 2013 I slipped, breaking my leg in 3 places and displacing my ankle, and its still not 100% healed.  My leg just gave way under me, apparently due to tremors.

During  this period I underwent more tests, medication changed to Myocilin 125mg and Occupational Assessment done to assess my ability to work, where finally the Neurologist has declared me unfit for work and placed me on permanent disablement.  Then, the depression decided to find place in my life.  Again anxiety/depression medication has been adjusted to double dosage as I just felt I have no purpose to life any longer.  

Not being able to sign ones signature or the ability to write has left me in a really poor mental state, it felt like a part of me has died.  I'm mourning this part of me, i'm mourning the part where I cannot make a cup of coffee or even cook, i'm mourning that my independence has been ripped from me.  All that works easy is my mouth and at times a sharp tongue(I say this honestly but with sadness and regret to those close to me I hurt). And now, I am now, If the word is correct, totally bereft of my life, and i'm only 52.

But all is not lost.

Despite my very dark days recently and still at times now, I have stilled grasped and held very firmly the hand of my Heavenly Father and have fought my soul fight together with Him.  Psalm 62 says it....Our Hope is in YOU Lord, my Soul finds rest in you Lord.

In reflecting on my life forward I know I need to :

• Accept my chronic disease
• Redifine my life...where to from here in Now, 6 months, 12 months time
• Focus on the passion that has been driving me in my soul for the past 2 years and that being Coaching people with disabilities (is this why I have to walk this walk? To understand?
• Enforcing and reinforcing the myths and facts about people with and facing disabilities.
• Securing my own home to be more disability user friendly, eg bath out shower in
• Most importantly keep my life firmly grounded with knowledge that God is my Jehovah Jireh, the Light to my life
• Very importantly to still nurture, love, guide, support my son emotionally and spiritually
• Start a new life, leaving the old behind and starting afresh.

Nothing in life can ever brace us for these unexpected turn of events in our lives. 
Today we are still planning the next 13 years to retirement, planning our 60th birthday celebration, saving to want to go on holiday, and suddenly in the blink of an eye its a case of....helloooo..."Change of Plan".  

How aware I have become that life is lived now, here, this moment...hoping to fill it with Joy, Happiness, Laughter and the ability to cry without blaming or reproach.

May I encourage you...next time you see a person with the shakes/tremors, dont laugh, dont joke and call them names eg uncle / aunty shake shake as colleagues have done to me, rather show some empathy- showing understanding and caring of how they might be feeling.  
You never know when you could find yourself in such an unfortunate situation.

If you too are facing some form of chronic disease/disability...please be encouraged by this thought...God is ALWAYS in control, He is the Captain of our ship, He will never let us become stranded..He directs our path.  Psalm 37:24 says  that though we stumble and fall, we will not be bruised/hurt/overwhelmed because He holds our hand.

I trust that thru this blog, you will understand and support people facing these

challenges in life.  We no different, we have feelings and emotions too...just love us for who we are on the inside.

Greetings and blessings to you!

"The doors we open and close each day

decide the lives we live."

~Flora Whittemore

How many times have your heard the saying, "When one door closes, another one opens"? It seems no matter how many, we often forget this in times of crisis, disappointment and unrequested change.

We need not fully understand why a change is occurring to ask ourselves: Am I going to let this door hit me in the rear or am I going to 'break on through to the other side'?

Very often the doors that close are positive for us!  Let's be honest, whether it be fear or insecurities, we often wait too long to make the necessary changes on our own . There are times when we ought to be grateful for the closure and consider what new and more positive paths await us.

The choice is always ours. Are you a survivor or a victim of change?

I always advocate for survivor and therefore, thriver!

Go ahead, look back and ponder for a bit, always remembering, "The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." 

Now, please spend the rest of your time and energies finding and going through the new, more positive door. It is through this door you will discover your best self and gain the ability to enjoy all the wonderful life experiences that await you.  

Believe: You too can "break on through to the other side".

Sharing this with you from:    Positive Adaptation and 'Think, Feel and Do'  your way into becoming the best you can be.  Remember, life is to be enjoyed, not survived!