DONT GIVE UP, YOU"RE ON THE BRINK OF A MIRACLE

We have all been shocked and saddened by the untimely death of an amazing actor Robin Williams.  I enjoyed his humor whether in a movie or in comedy.  When I read of Robin Williams suicide and also knowing he had the start of Parkinson's disease, the thought once again resounded in my mind, how important it is for people being diagnosed with a progressive disease/disability so urgently and seriously need a life coach in their lives.

When looking back a few years....my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.  No one in the family really new what to expect, or do or react.  No one thought to ask "grampa" how he felt, how he was coping etc, and let me tell you, my father could walk many more a mile than any young person.  As a family we would get annoyed or frustrated with him when we got a call from the nearest Shopping Mall to request someone come fetch him, he is in "freeze" mode.   I remember a day when some Pastor prayed over my dad for healing and how he sincerely believed he was healed.  BUT, today I know that was not a healing of the body, it was a healing of the soul, being set free in his spirit.  How stupid and foolish as humans, as families are we not, to realise its not about US, and how we are now being forced to care for the person in our lives with the disease/disability or how embarrassed we feel when the person stumbles or drools while eating, or wets themselves because muscles are not functioning as they should any longer, and what would our friends think.

Have you ever stopped to think how your loved one feels with his/her disease/disability?
How do you feel about your disease/disability?
As a carer, how do you feel, how does this affect you?
and the most important question I ask you........
What are you doing to accept, cope and live with the situation you find yourselves in?

When depression hits us....
When we cry for no reason.....
When we are angry, irritated, frustrated......
                        Please get help, find someone you can share this with.

As my picture at the top of the page says....when life is difficult, feels senseless, nothing seems to go right....dont give up.

Matthew 11:28-30 says:    “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest............ you will find rest for your souls. 

Besides God's Love, Grace and Mercy, we also need to bring our side, find a Life Coach who understands disabilities and start afresh in your life.  A new perspective to living day by day.

I encourage you, Life is not over yet!

Be comforted, encouraged and blessed.

 

Stand UP for yourself

For TOO LONG you have allowed the past to affect you!
For TOO LONG you have taken personally what others say about you!
For TOO LONG you have stood on the sidelines watching others thrive!
For TOO MANY NIGHTS you have gone to bed worrying about what may be.
For TOO LONG you have held a fear in your heart.
For TOO LONG you have settled for second best!!

NOW is the time to awaken!
NOW is the time to shine!
NOW is the time to ACCEPT that you are DIVINE!!

This is my message for you - allow it to touch the deepest parts of your being - to help you awaken to the truth - that you do deserve to live a GREAT life - and whatever that means for you!

Learn to become grounded

A few days after writing my last blog, I received a monthly news letter from a Dr Dave Moseman, who lives in Minneapolis, he was diagnosed with a type of eye disease and can no longer practice, ...I enjoy his newsletters.  Anyway, after reading the latest one, 4 words really stood out for me, practically knocking me off my chair.   LEARN TO BECOME GROUNDED.

I want to share some excerpts with you...and highlighted words that really shout out to my inner being...

When we find ourselves stopped by a disability we become lost in the Wilderness. Yet we need to calm down and become aware of our surroundings.  Our surroundings nurturer us constantly, but in our busy lives it gets overshadowed.

While we are mourning for what we have lost, our dreams, our self-image, our identity, we need to be loved. Our impulse is to crawl into our shells and hide. Pulling back and taking a pause in our busy life plans is necessary, we also need to get in touch with what is our true essence.

There is a voice with us always. In our busy lives we rush to and fro and only listen to that voice that says do this and that. When we can no longer do this and that, we have the opportunity to listen to the quieter voices in our lives, the ones that come from our core.  Become silent and listen to Gods Spirit, His Voice speaking to our soul.

As we listen for the quiet core messages we find other things too. We discover that we are not alone. We feel things, too.
We find the caresses that abound. Those soothing caresses come in the gentle sound of rain, or wind in the trees. They come from the concerns of friends and family. Suddenly we find we are loved not for what we can do, but for ourselves.
If we relax and open up, we can feel the sun. If we but open our eyes we can see what is around us. The splendor of a cold winter’s day, the shimmering green or summer leaves. Life goes on in its rhythm of contraction and renewal.
With the onset of disability, we have entered a time of contraction. Like the World in winter we must hibernate and prepare for the renewal to follow.  In the winter snow we see tracks of animals scurrying about. Few are around to be seen.
Most animals birth their young in the spring. So too, we will be reborn when our spring comes.

When I entered my Winter of Disability, I got in touch with Spiritual things I had put aside for my career. I read and studied the book of Job. I read Herbert Kurshner’s book “On why Bad things happen to Good People”.
For me the message of Job was to let go and let God hear my pains, to let God respond to my pains. In those moments of surrender I felt caressed and not alone, I found opportunity and freedom.
When you find yourself stopped by disability, use it as an opportunity to return to your core, Pray, Journal, meditate. Become grounded in what you have walked away from in your formerly busy life.  Find who you have really been, consult family and friends, about who they think you are.  Start a new Chapter in your life

I ask you to reflect on these questions.

• When have you needed to pause and reflect?
• How have you been able to get back in touch with yourself?
• Share your brokenness with those you love and trust.

May you too be touched by these thoughts of Dr Moseman, if you know of someone needing encouragement in the disability they are facing...please share this.

Be blessed

The Power of a Smile

Think about this for a moment.  How important is a smile to you?  How does it make you feel, to smile, to be smiled at?   For me, a smile can turn the day around. The Power of a Smile can instantly transform a frown or bring sunshine to a gray day. Yet how often do we take "the opportunity to smile" for granted?  Again, for me, I know I do.

When I was still working, I had a pic of a jester printed and stuck on the wall that said SMILE.  As you entered my office that was the first thing one saw, and no matter how down, stressed, frustrated or anxious a university student was, when they left my office they always left smiling, and, they quickly learnt never to enter the office without a smile.  I recently received an email from a graduate student, saying how she misses being encouraged with a smile, that this became the one thing she looked forward to when returning to student residence, know her spirits will be lifted.  

Sharing this with you has me smiling with memories, it makes one feel that nothing was in vain, that someone's heart was reached.

How often now, as we find ourselves in some or other frustrating health or physically challenging situation, do we smile....even randomly?  Are we so focussed on our own issues that we cant just smile at a stranger, at something funny and let the Power of our Smile affect those we come in contact with.

I challenge you today, next time you feel downhearted, frustrated or challenged by your health situation...dig out those pictures that make you smile, think back to moments that made you laugh and smile....as you walk about in a shopping mall, make eye contact with someone really looking down and SMILE....just smile for the sake of smiling...you will love how it makes you feel, and you will smile more when you see the reaction on peoples' faces.

A smile is a powerful tool, you can even break ice with it

Why is a smile important to you?

Identifying that Monster in your Disability

Identifying that Monster in your Disability

I suppose the 100 000 000Rand$EuroPound question is:  How to Identify and challenge that Monster in your Disability?

Being diagnosed with Essential Tremors was a monster in itself for me, but the monsters that are now revealing themselves at unexpected and unwanted times, that pop their heads up or stick their tongues out  when you least expect it, is annoying, frustrating, challenging, embarrassing, humiliating and i'm sure you can add many more words to the list for me.

Using my creative mind to do things, write things (yes like this blog) is something I enjoy and thrive on..., and I used to pride myself in the ability to write well, but now I have a monster rearing its head, thats slows my thinking ability, word formation and the ability to remember how to spell a word and yes even the ability to debate a matter with someone.  There are other monsters too...bad ones, they are pain killers, creating incredibly painful muscle spasms in my back and causing me to be unable to move and do things in a normal physical way.  I need to rely on friends and my son to assist me with tasks and driving me places.

I assure you,  although I have identified these monsters that are trying to cripple my life, its another matter to deal with it on a daily basis and its so easy to just creep into a corner and wallow in self pity.

Besides my faith and belief in God which gives me the strength to face each day, I have realised that I need to make the most of my day, around the monster of the moment, so if I have a clear thinking day...do what ever writing needs doing.

So, do you have monsters threatening to debilitate your life in anyway?

identify that monster and challenge it head on.

surround yourself with positive, joyful, happy people, thoughts and actions.

live every moment, laugh every day and strive to love beyond words.

Give thanks to the Lord, daily, (1 Thessalonians 5:18), prayer and thanksgiving is what will carry you thru the day.

 

Greetings to you...

Chatting to my son some 3979ft above sea level, flying at 800kph and 7143km away from Berlin this evening, gave me a new (although known) perspective to how remarkable life and technology is, high in the air chatting to me and watching the soccer world cup match on tv....amazing!

This got me looking at myself with refreshed eyes.

What could I claim as my identity now that my "shakes" (essential  tremors) has toppled me from my self-assured  perch?

I have let go of expectations. I no longer judge "success"--for myself or others--by what people do, but rather by who they are. I am more accepting of their flaws and of my own. My focus is on being rather than doing, on surrendering rather than controlling, on treasuring sweet moments here and now, rather than striving to scale the top of table mountain in record time.

Now, when people ask me what I do, I say, "I am JOY champion!" 

My "shake" has opened my eyes to the true meaning of life.

I just pray and ask the Lord to "give me oil in my Lamp" daily, and keep me filled with joy, hope, peace, understanding, wisdom .....  and lots of faith.

 Greetings to you....

Shaking.....and shaking some more, those horrid hand tremors!

Have you ever seen someone with tremors (shakes) in their hands, head, tongue or legs for that matter?
I am sure you have even thought..."Shame, how embarrassing!"  or  "Shame, I hope that never happens to me!"

a spiral drawn by a person with hand tremors like me

Well, yes to the person with the tremors, yes its embarrassing at times even humiliating and it even affects their self confidence which eventually causes depression and even a withdrawal to their social lives.

For the past 36 years I have been plagued with tremors in the hands, often jokingly responding to people by stating I have withdrawals from not having my tot for the day, but still it has made me very self concious.  As time has progressed, so has the tremors.  Going from doctor to doctor to find out cause and treatment has been to know avail, a million diagnosis has been made, lots of money spent on tests, scans, mri's etc.

My experiences are:
When I lay down, I shake, my bed shakes;
I cant hold a cup of coffee it shakes all over;
I eat with a spoon or the food shakes all over the place;
I drink with a straw in my cup of coffee if I go for coffee somewhere;
I order toasts or wraps so that I can use my hands, utensils are out;
I can no longer do my arts and crafts, i shake too much;
When I read I need to place to book or kindle on a hard surface and still my body quivers;
I cannot pour water from a kettle, or pot;
I try to do tapestry, but I shiver so much before the needle enters the area;
My water consumption is from a bottle not a glass;
I cannot fasten my tops with buttons, I now wear pull on pull off items.
I struggle to fasten my bra;  (no im not going without my wonderbra)
I cannot write or sign my signature, my son has power of attorney;
My hair is now cut short, I cannot blow dry my hair.
I monitor my tremors with a lift pulse downloaded from essentialtremor.org/
and the list can go on and on.........

Over the past 6 years I have really declined in health, diagnosed with fibromyalgia, heart flutters, atrial fibrillation, nerve pinching, you name it its being diagnosed, even thyroid. 
I even did self diagnosis and research on MS, CFS etc out of desperation.  Things got so bad in 2012 that I thought I would never see December 2012 and got my will and papers finalised.

Finally in July 2012 I was referred to a Neurologist. He immediately ruled out Parkinsons and Wilson's Disease and told me what I have is Severe Essential Tremors,(www.essentialtremor.org read more about it here)  

Again, lots of tests were done, medical costs spiralling and medical aid exhausted, medication called Lyrica 125mg tried out (not covered by med aid), which had a strange effect, I felt I was on a high (like helium in a balloon is how my head felt) like someone with ADHD but the negative was that I never thought rationally, I was forgetful  short term memory problems and would make silly decisions, driving was a problem as I would blank out mentally while driving and when reaching my destination couldnt remember what happened between point a to point b.  Then, on a day in July 2013 I slipped, breaking my leg in 3 places and displacing my ankle, and its still not 100% healed.  My leg just gave way under me, apparently due to tremors.

During  this period I underwent more tests, medication changed to Myocilin 125mg and Occupational Assessment done to assess my ability to work, where finally the Neurologist has declared me unfit for work and placed me on permanent disablement.  Then, the depression decided to find place in my life.  Again anxiety/depression medication has been adjusted to double dosage as I just felt I have no purpose to life any longer.  

Not being able to sign ones signature or the ability to write has left me in a really poor mental state, it felt like a part of me has died.  I'm mourning this part of me, i'm mourning the part where I cannot make a cup of coffee or even cook, i'm mourning that my independence has been ripped from me.  All that works easy is my mouth and at times a sharp tongue(I say this honestly but with sadness and regret to those close to me I hurt). And now, I am now, If the word is correct, totally bereft of my life, and i'm only 52.

But all is not lost.

Despite my very dark days recently and still at times now, I have stilled grasped and held very firmly the hand of my Heavenly Father and have fought my soul fight together with Him.  Psalm 62 says it....Our Hope is in YOU Lord, my Soul finds rest in you Lord.

In reflecting on my life forward I know I need to :

• Accept my chronic disease
• Redifine my life...where to from here in Now, 6 months, 12 months time
• Focus on the passion that has been driving me in my soul for the past 2 years and that being Coaching people with disabilities (is this why I have to walk this walk? To understand?
• Enforcing and reinforcing the myths and facts about people with and facing disabilities.
• Securing my own home to be more disability user friendly, eg bath out shower in
• Most importantly keep my life firmly grounded with knowledge that God is my Jehovah Jireh, the Light to my life
• Very importantly to still nurture, love, guide, support my son emotionally and spiritually
• Start a new life, leaving the old behind and starting afresh.

Nothing in life can ever brace us for these unexpected turn of events in our lives. 
Today we are still planning the next 13 years to retirement, planning our 60th birthday celebration, saving to want to go on holiday, and suddenly in the blink of an eye its a case of....helloooo..."Change of Plan".  

How aware I have become that life is lived now, here, this moment...hoping to fill it with Joy, Happiness, Laughter and the ability to cry without blaming or reproach.

May I encourage you...next time you see a person with the shakes/tremors, dont laugh, dont joke and call them names eg uncle / aunty shake shake as colleagues have done to me, rather show some empathy- showing understanding and caring of how they might be feeling.  
You never know when you could find yourself in such an unfortunate situation.

If you too are facing some form of chronic disease/disability...please be encouraged by this thought...God is ALWAYS in control, He is the Captain of our ship, He will never let us become stranded..He directs our path.  Psalm 37:24 says  that though we stumble and fall, we will not be bruised/hurt/overwhelmed because He holds our hand.

I trust that thru this blog, you will understand and support people facing these

challenges in life.  We no different, we have feelings and emotions too...just love us for who we are on the inside.

Greetings and blessings to you!