FLOATING away in your personal Dinghy????

On the topic of inadequacy, lets look at some of those GIANTS that are blocking the way to us being totally adequate, live with confidence, good self esteem, happiness and just the amazing ability to laugh for the sheer pleasure of it.

Self-Sabotaging  = what does that mean?
(To self-sabotage is to behave in ways that are not in one's own best interest.)

Self-sabotaging falls into three categories:

The Floaters, The needy and The Workaholics

Today we focussing on...The Floaters: These are people who are unable or unwilling to take charge of their lives or make changes to their lives, they float through life taking what comes their way.  These people often become underachievers, convinced it's the best that they can do and are fearful of failure or rejection, they stay at jobs with inadequate pay with poor or nonexistent benefits, or in abusive and unfulfilling relationships. They avoid taking classes or bettering their education (for fear they would fail), don’t join groups (for fear they won't fit in), refuse to seek therapy (because it would be an admission of inadequacy), and may even be ashamed to be seen purchasing a self-help book and think its a whole lot of hogwash. With the result they remain stuck, repeating their mistakes, unaware of their self-defeating behavior, and unable to do things differently from the past.

So, how does one get off the dingy you floating in, remove the gumboots and rainjacket and take a bold step to change? One thing is for certain, soon than later that dingy of yours will get a puncture, deflate and where will that leave you?

Begin by being truthful to yourself. Start a journal today, with these topics (spend an hour a day) focus on them, ask yourself these questions, then start applying the positive thoughts to your life, step by step:

• what makes me a floater?
• how can I change?
• why I need this change in my life.

In any situation you find yourself in, look for truth, search for it deep in your heart. Let that truth of your heart flow, and you will see obstacles melt like ice.

Truth has strength and power of its own

If a truth sets you free, what does a lie do?

It binds you.

It will hold you against your will.

The truth let's you live life

to the fullest

your cheeks will be rosy

and you'll be smiling

but what about a lie?

A lie will hurt you

and your life will be dark and dreary

you'll look pale and sunken

and your face will show pain

A lie will bind you.

So then the truth shall set you free.

till next time...here's raising my cuppa to you.

Blessings!

 

So, you feel inadequate...not good enough hey?

Do you think you’re not as good as someone else? What’s new? 

We all feel this way at sometime. Don’t settle for the same old familiar tune of friends and family. Friends and family say they mean well and often what they say is honest. But does it really satisfy your emotional need?

When we are feeling inadequate what is really going on? It is not just a question of the glass half empty or half full. Either we haven’t lived up to our own expectations or we fear we won’t live up to our own expectations or maybe the expectations of others. Where do our expectations come from?

My expectations come from my self-image. I would like to excel in everything, well, mostly everything.  When I put my mind to it I have excelled at many things. Yet, have I excelled at being MYSELF?  Does that realization make me feel adequate? Not really.  When placed on disability from work how will I deal with the reality of the situation? How will this affect my family emotionally and how will they react toward me now that their tower of strength needs a tower of strength?

What then makes me feel adequate? Sometimes it is simple things like straightening the house and making the bed. Today it’s been the ability to take a shower without fear of falling, without people hovering outside just in case, today its getting this blog written tremors and all.

I have thought for days how I can take this blog to the next level. Now that I am writing, it is taking a form different than what I thought it would. This is not the first time a blog has written itself and come out differently.  Sometimes I’m concerned that what I would say would sound corny. Now I see those fears were a means for my unconscious thoughts to come up with a new answer. The answer for me to feel adequate seems that I must just go ahead and just do it. That means of course figuring out what you are afraid of, and finding a way to approach it.

When we feel inadequate we are also feeling overwhelmed. Yet, a huge task like putting a man on the moon wasn't done in a day. It took thousands of people working over a decade to make it a reality. The overall tasks seemed impossible. Yet when they broke it down into do-able parts it was accomplished.

So, when we feel inadequate how should we approach it? Well, we need to define the task, break it down into do-able parts, and get started.

This may seem right when we’re overwhelmed by a future task. I would define the task, to find my expectations, review the outcomes, look for lessons learned (from past experience), and celebrate my successes. We can always claim we tried. We can always identify factors outside and within our control that prevented us from reaching our expectations. Then we can design new strategies to prevent those things from happening again. This process is easier if you have somebody help you work it through, but let me tell you its even more rewarding just doing it, seeing the outcome and feeling great!

That is one of the tasks of a coach and that means you need not do it on your own, you have support.

What in your life is making you feel inadequate? How have you coped with your feelings of inadequacy in the past. How have you overcome them?  What wisdom can you add?

You feel you need a coach…im just an email away.

So, here's raising my cuppa to you as I sign off..

Blessings to you

YOU are just soooo awesome :)

Today, right now.......

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.

Sometimes, life hands you a chance. It hands you something amazing, you almost think it’s a dream, but no matter how much you pinch yourself, you don’t wake up. It’s moments like those that make life really worth living, because no matter how hard times get, there are always those miracle moments that lift you back on your feet.

So, as I raise my cuppa coffee to you, I ask, are you the passenger or the pilot in your life?

Its all about YOU in life, what happens in your life is only because YOU allow it. You are awesome, you are who you are, a special addition, carefully selectively designed by the Master Crafter of Life. 

"fix your face, you look like a blown up bull frog" she said

We all tend to walk about with these ridiculous negative thoughts about ourselves....

I remember as a teenager wearing specs, it was these rather big squariesh fashion (1970's) things not like we have today, elegant, streamlined or even contacts.  A teacher one day said to me," oh come on fix your face, you look like a blown up bull frog".  just because i was angry about something.  well, after that I stopped wearing my specs for a long time, because I had this hang up about how I looked.

Its took me a long time to realise, that what actually is important iswhat I think of me, myself and I, and when people are hurtful and say things to hurt others its because they themselves hurt inside, they themselves have hangups and insecurities.

Today, Im no teenager any longer, and heck I like who I am, where there are imperfections...there are ways to cover them up to actually show off the beauty, the amazing me..(no one will say i'm amazing, so i'm saying it *smiles*)

I challenge you today, make a list of all your imperfections, your hang ups, those negative thoughts that are holding you back ....then dump them or burn them or flush it down the loo...GONE and never to return.

Does it matter what others think of us? No

Does it matter what we think of ourselves YES.  when we are positive, believe in ourselves, we attract the positive to us, life becomes exciting, we see the beauty around us, we notice those that need a smile as we walk by....when we all negative we push people away and then thats why they only see the ugly.

Today you can have the power in your own hands to grasp the truth about WHO you are.  You are special, loved by God and carefully creatively designed, unique, a one of a kind.  Priceless and treasured.

Grab hold of that thought, believe it, its yours, given freely.

Blessings...and time to share my cuppa with you 

A broken tree can bear fruit

I saw this pic today and it really spoke volumes to me, it reaffirmed that feeling, that desire, to follow the passion burning in me by reaching out to people who are having to deal with their various disabilities, particularly our youth but also not neglecting people facing the changes and challenges to their lives suddenly, due to some progressive disability.

Despite the situation we find ourselves in due to the challenge of whatever disability we have, we need to identify and use the gift or talent we have so that the fruit from our "tree" can grow, develop and become that which we can depend on, day in and day out. 

If you good at woodwork or hairdressing, art or designing, or just simply need to do house sitting for people when they go away for weekends or holidays, then do it, God has given each of us unique talents or gifts, its because of God's grace that we can do these things.  You never know, the fruit from your efforts may just pay off.  

Let me share two things that happened in my life....

1. Due to doctors negligence my son suffered a lack of oxygen at birth, today, 23yrs later he is a well adjusted, capable, amusing, loving young man, he has his athletics which I believe fully, was the way God made up for the Doctors negligence, has a good job and works hard.  He also knows, that although he is achieving both work and sportwise, he needs to keep his feet firmly grounded, remain the person he is and always remember its thru God's grace that our broken bodies can bear fruit.
2. Again, doctors negligence, my mom suffered a stroke at the age of 45 they forgot to monitor her blood pressure during surgery...my mom was a "on the go" lady, made our clothes, designed her own hat and matching shoes and made it herself, she baked cakes which would put Mug n Bean to shame.  So, what was her gift or talent after all this tragedy in our lives, where she now only had tunnel vision, lost the use of her left hand and had moments of dementia.  She never lost her humor.  But, she became an intercessor, she had this amazing relationship with God, she daily did our washing and while hanging the washing on the line or taking it down mom would be praying, she would be talking to God, This has sustained me for most of my life now, 12 years now after her peaceful passing away, I still wish she was here to pray for us all.  

You see, our broken tree (our body) can bear much fruit, we just need to be willing to put that gift or talent to good use so that we can enjoy and reap the blessings.

Be blessed...here's raising my cuppa to you

How do you fill your cup?

It is often said, what you fill your cup with usually spills out.

So, I'm just wondering, who fills your emotional cup? how do you keep that cup filled with positivity, encouragement and support?  How often do you need a refresh, top up or refill?  Do you reach empty and say..."Ah, great that was just what I needed for today?

Taking care of yourself = keeping your cup full. 

 If you don't do things to keep your cup full, you will have nothing to give or share with others.

As we continue forward, pouring out of our cup to take care of everyone and everything around us, and notice that dry, cracked feeling at the bottom of our cup or seeing It’s bone dry, lets realise empty cups lead to burnout and breakdown. So before we get all angry and frustrated and resentful, we need to be strong enough to say, enough is enough

It’s our responsibility to take the time to do what feeds our soul – first.

When we do this, the world won’t fall apart.  People won’t hate us.  People won’t think we incompetent losers.  People won’t think we selfish.

When we do this, we happier. We have more energy to care for others.  We calmer.  Our body feels better.  Our mind is clearer.  People want to be around us because we giving off good, positive energy.

So the more we do for ourselves, the more we can do for others.  It’s one of Nature’s laws.

Speaking from my own personal, self interest:  Please go out and fill your own cup.  I, along with those close to you, will be glad you did.

Remember ~ Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks

Raising my cuppa to you
Blessings!
Romans 12.1

A scarecrow in our lives

Don’t let fear freeze you into paralysis. Hannah Hurnard, author of Hinds’ Feet on High Places, was once paralyzed by fear. Then she heard a sermon on scarecrows that challenged her to turn her fear into faith.

The preacher said, “A wise bird knows that a scarecrow is simply an advertisement. It announces that some very juicy and delicious fruit is to be had for the picking. There are scarecrows in all the best gardens.... If I am wise, I too shall treat the scarecrow as though it were an invitation. Every giant in the way which makes me feel like a grasshopper is only a scarecrow beckoning me to God’s richest blessings.” He concluded, “Faith is a bird that loves to perch on scarecrows. All our fears are groundless.”

Yes, I know what you thinking...."but you dont understand....!"  We all, if brave and honest about it, will admit, we all have fears, particularly in the day and age we live in.  Fear can be very crippling in your life.  Its like an infestation of ants and you just can not rid yourself from it.   I have a friend who is constantly afraid of his financial status and well being when he retires, people fear the dark or birds, I have a fear of heights and the list of peoples fears go on and on.

What is it that makes us fear? That grabs our gut and turns it into a knot, deprives many of sleep, makes us sick?.

Then reading the above note on the scarecrow, It dawned on me, that if a little bird can challenge a scarecrow which is to put fear in the little creature, why do we all allow fear to be our GIANT and what stops us from allowing our fear to take hold of us, and how are we going to conquer the scarecrow in our lives.. 

I think, its that little inner voice that whispers back and causes self doubt and fear at a low ebb of our circumstances, and its time that we face the Giant Scarecrow in our lives, be like the little bird and tweet away excitedly because the field is full of wonderful, exciting treats, show the scarecrow that while it stands there nothing stops us from challenging that which we fear.  

Still. we cannot do this on our own and in our own strength, we need to grasp tightly onto Gods' promises, we need to believe, have faith, speak the positive in our lives and know that God will never let us down, He is our Hope for today, tomorrow and always.

Blessings to you...raising a delicious steamy cuppa to you!